So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
