Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
