I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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