Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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