i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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