Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
