we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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