You can't motorboat a personality
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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