Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
