I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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