im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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