we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
