problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
