she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
