1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize