I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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