Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
