did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
