is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize