Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
