ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize