My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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