I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
