we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
