She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
