where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
