literally had 100 drinks last night.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
