it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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