remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
