Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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