You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
