I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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