Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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