jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
