i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
