Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
