So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
