i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
