thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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