I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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