I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
