normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
