she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
