If i come over, it means nothing
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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