he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize