Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
