I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So much rum. So many feels.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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