Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
