If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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