I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
