After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
A+ Viking dick
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
