If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
