Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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