How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
