I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
