Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
