I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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