I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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