I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i've created a new STD.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize