THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
