white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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