Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
