Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
