The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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