so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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