after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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