I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
