During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
