I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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