Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize